Monday, June 8, 2009

My First Date

"There are somethings money can't buy. For everything else, there is mastercard."

Now, the following might come as a surprise or even a shock to many readers. Because I don't think many expected me to do this sorta stuff. I didn't think I'd do it either, but I think one should experience it. There is a first time for everything. And who would have thought I'd do it when my dad was in town.

I didn’t want to pen this down, but then I felt reading this might help others.

This whole episode wasn’t really my idea, but I had been looking forward to do this all my life, and for good reason. I decided this was the right time, as I was now graduating and would turn into a professional.

A few rules to be adhered to:-

1)Don’t be late.

Well, I hardly remember the last time I was on time at any place. So, as usual I think I arrived at the place 45 minutes late.

2)Plan things well in advance

Ya, right! the engineer that I am, I hadn't planned anything, and decided to just go with the flow.

3)Know the venue well in advance.

I had no idea of the address of the venue, and thought I would spot it on the way. Of course, when I heard of it, I said 'Yes, Yes I know the place'

4) Do not be opulent

I think I almost got this right, as I asked my driver to park the vehicle a few feet away.

(Ahem! 3-wheelers are vehicles you know)

5) Go alone

I didn't.

6) Dress well

Since, I was already late, I wore whatever I could put my hands on.

7) Don't converse about things you have no clue of
Oh, yes! that would narrow down the topics of conversation to a very small number. Again, I broke this rule.

So, without beating around the bush anymore, let me move directly into the scene.

As I was guided to the place, I had no idea what would be in store, and it being a place of her choice didn't help me in expecting what to expect.

Not surprisingly, I wasn't surprised to see she wasn't entirely alone. I was worried now, if her folks would interrogate me first. Thankfully, that didn't happen, as I hastily gave my introduction (which was very brief) and squeezed in a statement that I was very happy to see them.

Without any more incidents, I finally sat down with Her. Two of her siblings and a friend sat by her, and they seemed around the same age as she was. And to further complicate matters, they were as pretty as she was. Right, I was sitting in heaven!!!
I was now staring into eight eyes, and the eerie silence only made things uncomfortable.

So, I decided to start the conversation.
(when I am with friends, the only way I start a conversation is by saying "Aur Bolo!" )

So, I ask them what they do, what grades they are in, etc etc and I seem to have pushed the right buttons. Though they were shy, they excitedly tell me about their studies. Apparently, they thought becoming an engineer was fancy and they ask me what ECE (electronics & communication) is about.

Sensing that this is going the wrong way, I struggle to get them off the engineering course, before things get embarrassing for me. I do manage to impress them by saying that now, that I am an engineer I will be able to support myself well financially, as I had two job offers too. (Ahem Ahem!! me and my modesty)

Then, I turn my gaze to the one sitting in the middle, like a princess with her entourage.. The one who was gazing me intently with her round black eyes.

As I smile and speak, she bursts out giggling. Now, what was funny here!
Again, she giggles and we had a giggling competition now, the only one not giggling was me.

Were they laughing at me? Perhaps, at the stubble under my chin, I knew I should have shaved.

Or were they giggling at my glasses,
Or did I have something stuck between my teeth
Or better yet, were they giggling at the person sitting behind me.

A question from me and she looks up with those pretty eyes, and giggles. Her gaze never lifting, her smile never fading.

And, I.........................

was lost.

I couldn't help but compare my situation with her to the one between Gyan and Sai in the novel 'The Inheritance of Loss' by Kiran Desai ( I haven't finished it mind you). Gyan tells Sai

"Let me see your hands. They are so small"

"Are They?"

" Yes." He held out his own by hers. "See?"

Fingers. Nails

" Hm.what long fingers. Little nails....."

He weighed her hand.

"Light as a sparrow. The bones must be hollow"

Me and my imagination. If you haven't read the book, forget the last para above.

I was lost in her eyes. They were the prettiest pair I had ever seen. More than that the mischievous smile on her face was what unsettled me.

A frolicsome, playful smile.

When you smile, I melt inside

Please don't look at me with those eyes

So I just sat there,

'You have a sweet smile'

I managed to mutter, and the smile just got sweeter..........

Not being able to resist,

I reached for her..........

and before she could say a word..

I kissed her..



on her cheek.

Her name was Sumaiyya

and


She was 6 years old.

The above was a visit my friends and I made to an organisation which works for the underprivileged children.

We met and interacted with little kids with ambition in their eyes.

It was something special to share happiness with these 50 underprivileged children and to see their happy faces.

Every child there had a different story to tell. There was an Azhar who wanted to become an engineer, a certain Sania who wanted to become a doctor, a little girl who wanted to become an air-hostess.

A little boy stood up and bravely said

"Mere ko bhi air-hostess banna hai"

I was amazed cos when I was their age, I didn't even know there were so many professions. I only wanted to become LAPD (google it if you don't know)

But, these were kids who looked up to as, cos we were apparently engineers.

For them, we were role models ( I wonder if I am a role model or a lol model)

Little did they know, that we (or should I say I) considered engineering as a joke. For me engineering was waking up at 10, going to college, having lunch, then coming back. I didn't even consider my engineering as an educational experience.

But, looking at these kids who dream of becoming doctors, engineers, professionals; it made me realize how ungrateful I had been.

We come from families that coerce us to study, and do everything in their means to give us the best in education.

And then there are families who coerce their kids to discontinue education because of straitened circumstances.

Helping in providing these kids with education is what is most important, for there is a saying which goes

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eatfor the rest of his life"

As my friends whom I had accompanied shared their words of wisdom and counselled these kids, I felt very very small.

There are many generous people in the world, who give out money in charity. Everyone does so. But, there are very few who actually go and meet the underprivileged.

"TO DO to others what you want others to do to you is the golden rule".

The smile on their faces, made us happier than anything else in the world.

We're very blessed, just very fortunate to have the things we have.

We should realise the hardship of their parents who toil day and night to provide education to them.

The look in the eyes of these people who live on less than a $ a day is priceless.

Truly, "There are somethings money can't buy. For everything else, there is mastercard."

Donating money and sitting at home won't leave you full in feeling; smiling at them and watching them smile back leaves you full.

If someone thinks, our visiting them and donating money for their education, made the kids happy; I am not sure if they are right. But, I am sure that our visting them made us happier than it made them. Happiness is something everyone can give.

We have given out of our abundance. They have given out of their poverty. God gives great joy to those who have nothing, and that for them, it is better to give than to receive.

It's been interesting. The experience leaves you with a sense of awe for them, not sympathy, not empathy, not charity, not any of those usual feelings that the twisted rich of this country normally harbour for the not-so-rich.

A special thanks to Sana and the SAFA organisation for giving us the opportunity to visit them (visit www.safaindia.org for more info).

Thankyou to all my friends who shared this experience with me.

Countless thanks to the Almighty for giving us the power to make others smile.


I am concealing names, and amount donated because I believe in the holy saying

"When thou gives in alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth."

A few may ask, why I put this up so many days after it actually happened. Well, I put it up now to keep the momentum going (and also, cos I was bored)


Now, as we graduate let us look back and realize how blessed we have been to have come this far.

Now, as we grauduate, let us realize that education has not been a callous experience.

Now, as we graduate, let us now do justice to what we have learnt.

Now, as we graduate let us not worry about a job, or higher studies, for there are many who though better than us, might not get the chance to stand where we stand.

And lastly, I think I should learn to practise before I preach.



[P.s. Mastercard is not paying my anything for mentioning them here, but I don't mind a donation. After all, I wrote this post about charity didn't I. They should get the hint]


[Note, this was in no way put up to boast or brag about a good deed, it was put up so that others might read and spare a thought]

-P.s. put in your comments and criticism, they would go a long way in helping me improve.....

26 comments:

Ahmed said...

So, I have had my first date;
Have you?

touseef said...

aise dates ke liye to hamesha tayyaar hun bhai...
ek shikaayat hai... y was i not informed abt the visit...
next time plzzzzz let me knw..
as usual u were awesome...
mai inheritance of loss purey 15 page hi padsaka... aap gr8 hai....
keep up the gr8 job... ur blogs inspire us

Atif said...

a beautiful post as usual bhai..
but this one was more special..
keep writing ahmed bhai..im sure u'll get more popular than john grisham when it comes to suspense, killing any hopes and expectations of a reader.. ;)i nearly thot tat we all finally had got a bhabi.. :)

sriram said...

amazing ...as usual.....
next time..pls let me know

Unknown said...

Awesome post ahmed bhai....seriously u have a great talent
keep writing....:-)

may be someday v will have 2 buy ur buk....please buk discount me dilao dosto ko...:-)
great job...keep rocking

Ahmed said...

@touseef
asal mein sudden plan bana tha bhai. isliye nahi bola.

aur 'Inheritance of Loss' mein bhi aadi padhke pause kar diya.

aur aap jo bolre 'ur blogs inspire us'
bhai, mera to khali blog inspire karra.
Aap to poora upar se neeche tak inspiration hai hamare liye.

Ahmed said...

@Atif
badhe logan, hai baba aap. John Grisham bhi padhte.

atif>>killing any hopes and expectations of a reader.. ;)

chalo mere ko mil gaya brickbat.

atif>>i nearly thot tat we all finally had got a bhabi.. :)

arey dua karo baba, jaldi mil jaana bolke.
ab hum aapki tarah smart kaha hai

Ahmed said...

@sriram
thanks man
Yes, let us plan something.

@sohail

kya mazaakh karre miya. Wo salesmen phirte dekho

"Good morning sir, This is the Oxford hardbound dictionary sir, only Rs.300 sir. For you special discount sir...."

mein book likha to waisa phirna padhta phir mere ko

Tripti said...

:) that was nice. i'm really glad we could do this... it totally brought me down to earth, to see how lucky we actually are. all we do is want, that day was an eye opener for me...snapped me back to reality. just pray that we all become useful people some day in our lives, help others in any way we can... God is great, hopefully He'll teach us to give, more than want

Unknown said...

that was a really wonderful gesture on your part. I wish I too have lots of such dates.. Aap toh akele akele chale gaye date pe.

Ahmed said...

@faheem, mein kuch nahi kara bhai.

sab mere dost ka kamaal tha.

aur agar mere date pa aap bhi aagaye, to poori spotlight aap pe rehti. mere ko to bahar thedo bolte.

aakhir, Mr Decent aap hi to hai

Unknown said...

As usual superb post iqbal bhai...at first i was surprised with the title and when i started reading it i realized it very late that u were talking about the day we spent with those children...really it was a great experience being with them that day...felt that "chalo life main ek kaam toh kuch kaam ka kare"...
Thanks to u,sana and tripti for arranging such event...
keep blogging...

Unknown said...

Im moved Ahmed bhai...
Its people like u who'll keep hopes alive and thats enough to make anyone needless of anything...

Ahmed said...

@faisal
thank you for being a part of it. I loved the words you shared with the kids, the LKG incident ;)

@abrar,
kya bole ke bhai aap. Upar se jaara. Sharminda kar dere aap

Yash said...

B'ful!!

God bless you and keep writing.

Ahmed said...

Thank you Yash. :)

hope I can come up to your level some day

Unknown said...

hey ahmad! loved ur blog. u write so beautifully. and this was truly an inspirational piece. keep up the good work.

Ahmed said...

@smk,
thanks a lot. It means so much coming, from you.
Btw, I recognized you by how you spelled 'Ahmad' ;)

Farah said...

The idea was definitely copied from my brother's post... can't deny it...

Ahmed said...

Wow! how flattering

The idea was actually copied from my first post at
http://ahmediqbal.blogspot.com/2008/08/pop-that-question.html

which was almost a year ago.

And, I am quite sure you will find, many stories or even TV ads on similar themes; that doesn't mean they copied it too.

And, if an A does something, would that mean nobody else should do something similar...

(as much as I'd love to follow in your brother's footsteps someday)

Anyways, nice to see you here didi :)

Waiting for your brickbats on my other posts too.
Good to see my posts are going international :D

(Btw, I do copy in tests,
copy in assignment,
copy in my Exam form!!!

but, not here I don't )

Farah said...

Haven't read all your posts but when I read this one my brother's post came immediately to mind.. no offence..

Ahmed said...

Yes, I know. I am honored though

ROHIT said...

hmm..very nice post..really wonderful..And btw aise dates toh kaise bhi awesome hai..aap apni real date ka likhna mat bhulo kabhi..

snigdha shrivatsav said...

nice flow of words...u made me a part of ur date while reading..lookin forward for summore...

Unknown said...

hey dude... nice blog.... :) reading ur blog for the first time and really impressive :)

Anonymous said...

Good stuff!!